As a child my father was very strict about my relationships with boys. This caused me to never have any real friends who were boys. At the age of thirteen, much to his relief, I enrolled in an all girls’ boarding school. That pretty much marked the end of all common interaction with boys for me. Once I graduated high school and entered college, I discovered them – grown up boys, much taller than how I remembered them to be, thinks that everything can be a joke and much smarter in general.
During class assignments I had difficulty working with them. I didn’t understand their work ethics and their different attitude towards life. They seemed a lot more ambitious, they loved competing and they don’t really get emotional at all. My lack of understanding on how they function would later on transpire into my dating history – they didn’t work out very well or for that matter, lasted very long. As years go by I tried to educate myself about them. I started befriending more guy friends, and through that it helped me a little in understanding how they operate. I even went as far as reading books on them, with most of the reads telling me the same thing – that men are simple, and we shouldn’t compare our female complexities with how they are as human beings.
But here’s the thing. As I grew older, I got to know more of them. At work, during social events, as well as observing the male figures in my family. And I found out that really, they’re not that simple after all. There is no one manual that fits all of them. I forgot that they too, are people just like the rest of us women. Yes, maybe a lot less emotional, but still people like us. They have a range of personalities, some game enough to approach anyone, and some much more introvert. Some have been hurt rather badly in the past that they have walls, some love girls too much that they cant just have one. Some have horrible pasts, some have family commitments, some are nice and some are douche bags.
Sometimes my girlfriends and I would get together and we end up discussing relationships. After a few are married, some are engaged and the rest still figuring things out, it later dawned on us that maybe, just maybe, we are brainwashed too expect too much. We put men on a pedestal and expect them to be everything. We expect them to be brave and not have insecurities. We expect them to be knights in shining armors who has it all figured out. We expect them to rescue us. It would’ve been a lot easier if in the beginning, we thought of them as people like us too. With uglier footwear, of course.