I went for brunch with a girlfriend and three other guy friends. We ended up comparing the differences between the male and female species when it comes to handling breakups.
Female: Be sad, talk about the problem to another girl, and then another girl, and another, and another, until the whole entire female kingdom would’ve heard about it. Lunch hours will be an intimate discussion ‘The View’ style. Talk about the subject to its death. All girls will take your side and hate they guy. In fact, if they can, they would like to put him on a stake and burn him, or maybe drag him around the city by a horse. Because somehow, the whole female species can feel the rage for him. Male: Be sad, play with video game for hours. If work is available, will bury life in work. Then go out with a group of guy friends, but never talk about the girl or the problem. Then maybe will seek a close male friend and tell him the story, but not in detail and definitely NOT while crying. If the subject isn’t even brought up, then none of the other male friends are allowed to bring up the subject. Then play more video games or sports because hell, that’s how problems are solved. A guy at the office made a joke today.
"GOOGLE is a woman," he said. "Why?" I asked. I braced myself for a borderline sexual harassment answer. "Because everytime you type something into the search engine, it tries to finish it for you." Hilarious. I told this joke over lunch to a few other friends. "Sure, GOOGLE is definitely a woman," says another guy. "Why?" I asked. "Because even when you've typed something and clicked the 'search' button, it'll still come up with, 'did you mean...?' and start suggesting things you didn't even think of in the first place." Doubly hilarious. I went out to dinner with a bunch of friends, which accidentally, happened to be all guys. So of course they ended talking about this hot chick and that hot chick while I ended up sipping on soup.
One guy complained that it is hard to approach girls because he just doesn't know how to. That, and the fact that he was scared of rejection. "You just gotta do it, man," one guy replied. "I have an office colleague, who's not that good looking at all, but he just puts himself out there, and buy the end of the day he will always end up with a phone number or a business card." Well, that is sort of true. Sometimes when a girl says no, it just means, "try harder, stupid." And if you try hard enough chances are she might give in. I know I would. "But then," I chipped in. "You still have to know when a girl is subtly rejecting you. Sometimes she wants to say no, because she's really not interested, so you have to know when she's being subtle about it out of respect for you." The guys looked interested. "Usually," I carried on. "When you ask a girl out to dinner, and she accepts, but at the same time tries to invite other people to join you, that's most probably her way of entertaining your offer while rejecting you at the same time." At this point my friend looked shocked, and as if a sudden revelation had fallen on to him. "Son of a bitch," he said, flabbergasted. "That happened to me so many times before! I had no idea that's what it actually means!" You're welcome, guys. Glad to shed you some light on this matter. |
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