GIVE UP ALREADY!

It has been wired into us that we should never ever give up. Ever. We should never give up until the end (I’m sure this comes from a song lyric somewhere). Whatever it is that we are striving for, giving up is for losers. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Resilience will prevail.

These generic advice are poison. For the most part of our lives, these motivations are true and have been proven by so many success stories of people who went through hell and back to achieve something and never gave up. It stops people committing suicide, it cheers people on to make it in life, it helps implant positivity in people with illnesses to heal themselves, and it pushes forward broken hearts to get out there again.

But at the same time, this idea can be easily manipulated into the specifics in life that it becomes almost dangerous.

To simplify, sometimes we really should give up.

I know a couple who has been trying to have kids naturally for years and years now, and although doctors have advised that it was near impossible for them to conceive naturally they have not given up on that idea yet. Which is great, except they are also miserable and desperately wanted children. Not giving up on this hinders them from considering other options to have children that could be just as wonderful but not necessarily their initial picture of what it would be like. There is a guy I know who refused to look at other options to make a means of himself other than dreams of becoming an artist and as a result, his wife and kids suffer. And I could easily point out a girl who is in a dead-end relationship with a man, unhappy but adamant to not give up in this emotional investment.

I too am as guilty as charged in this subject matter. The go-getter attitude has been instilled in me by my environment from an early age, and as a result I become almost obsessed with the idea that every single little thing I want in life should be fought tooth and nail for until it is mine. I just couldn’t quit. Which sounds amazing in theory. But what it does in my real life is that in many ways, it stops me from moving forward and it hinders my vision outside of what I think I want. I stressed myself into thinking that my current job is the only job I would be best at, and as a result I could not bring myself to explore other things out there that might be just as interesting. I resiliently loved people who did not love me back, and as a result, I did not move on. I hold on to expired dreams because I could not bring myself to admit that not all dreams are actually applicable in reality.

Giving up is a delicate subject. It should be under no circumstance applied in some policies in your life, as it is scientifically and spiritually proven that resilience is effective, causes positive changes and defeats impossibilities. That being said, sometimes giving up is a possible option that can create miracles too. Giving up on the idea of ever looking like a Victoria’s Secret model (there are no Korean surgeries that can substantially add body height) made me much happier in my own skin. Giving up an initial plan of living a certain lifestyle can open up doors to many other wonderful options we never knew existed. Giving up on a pointless relationship will allow others to give you what you actually deserve.

The trick, I suppose, is to know the fine line between when to soldier on and when to respectfully abort the mission. It is a large part of making the right/wrong moves in life, therefore always remaining a subject of eternal perplexity for all of us, wherever we’re from and however different our lives are from each other. Good luck in giving up!