The Zombie Apocalypse

I had a strange dream last week. I dreamt that I woke up from my sleep to find that the city had faced an apocalypse and everyone had turned into zombies. I wanted to run but I live in an apartment at the 10th floor, and the stairs and elevators were infested with zombies. Then I tried to climb out the window and do the whole ‘Spiderman’ thing. I almost made it but then I woke up.

For the rest of the morning I wondered by myself, “what if everybody does turn into zombies?” I have no strong life skills. I don’t know how to use a gun. I’m too small to fight off a Nigerian zombie (this thought occurred as I stood next to a Nigerian man in the train). I have bad reflexes. My arms are like a little girl’s arms so I doubt that I’ll be able to punch too many of them for long. And what if I run and save myself? How on earth would I survive? I don’t know how to make fire. Well I’ve watched Cast Away a million times and I think I’ve memorized how Tom Hanks did it with two pieces of wood, but I have a sinking feeling that it’s not really as easy as it looks. I certainly can’t hunt animals. The last time I watched my Grandad slaughter a chicken I almost gagged (and it wasn’t even a cute-looking chicken).

Then I slowly came to a realization… my college professor was right! During an environmental geology class, he mentioned that humans are the weakest animals ever to exist. If it wasn’t for our brains we’d be long dead. We have no physical upper-hand. And by ‘we’, I meant myself. I don’t think I have many survival or defense skills. I suppose I could read a map and find other human survivors in other parts of the country… but damn it, if the only cars left with fuel are the ones with a sticks, then I’m screwed. I can’t shift gears on a manual.  

Well, if the increasing crime rates in the city aren’t really making me think about learning some basic survival and defense skills, at least a bad nightmare of the zombie apocalypse does.