How about a makeup-free, ootd-free picture at a local village? That kid though haha The minute I ended my final year in high school, I started putting on makeup. I had this vague idea of what beauty was at the time. It’s the gorgeous glossy hair, perfect glowing skin, slim body, upright posture, big doll eyes, put-together clothes, perky boobs and perfect teeth. I aspired to these things. They were all so beautiful to look at. That was more than 10 years ago. Today I still aspire to these things. I won’t lie. Of course. I’m a woman living in an era where appearance speaks volumes, and physical beauty is and always will be an eternal obsession for us. As much as I say that I do all these things for health – the exercises, the healthy food, the rigorous skincare routines – there is still a level of vanity attached to them. But as much as these things are still prioritized, to a certain extent it no longer means as much as it did for me once upon a time ago. Life, as it turns out, has subtly shaped my mind to alter my perception of beauty over the years of joyful, painful and liberating experiences. And so this is what beauty means to me today, at the age of 30. Beauty is your eyes that never fails to light up against life’s dim realities. Beauty is the freckles you collected over all your many beautiful adventures in the sun. It is the smile you have on your face when a man tells you he adores you, and it’s the tears you shed when someone you love walks away. Beauty depicts itself through your pursed lips as you get up again when life brings you down. It is your crazy hair after a swim in the ocean, the runny eyeliner after a crazy sweaty day in the city. Beauty is when you love someone/something sincerely, and even the eye bags when the same thing keeps you from sleeping. It shines the most when you have happy thoughts, when you choose to not resort to always have something bad to say about others. It’s that beam you have when you finally achieve your dreams, and the wrinkles that follow to mark the passage of time you’ve been through. And then, beauty occurs in those moments – when you are laughing hysterically at life’s funny predicaments, when you cry in the car because sometimes you feel lost, the wide-eyed gaze you have when you witness something magnificent, and even the scars and bruises you have on your body of all that you have physically experienced. Beauty is having patience. Beauty is having faith. Beauty, is kindness. And so as I begin my next decade, I hope these realizations would arm me in defining my own beauty in the years to come. Yes, I still do Google ‘Megan Fox’ for some inspiration because come on, we're all human, but hopefully I would keep focusing as much energy to appreciate all those other things that make a person beautiful. Me at 12 years old. Why don't I have eyebrows?
It’s bootsoverbooks.com’s birthday month! It has been 7 years (surreal), and it’s one of my great loves. Over the years it had given me sanity (it’s basically my unpaid therapist), and a lot of other people the delights of (hopefully) entertaining reads and laughing about topics that would otherwise be bummers in life. As a little celebration, I’ve compiled my personal top 10 favorite entries over the years and I’ve explained why. You can click on the title to read the whole entry! Here’s my biggest accomplishment for 2016; I learned how to replace my toilet seats.
Yes I did other things too. I learned how to do a yoga headstand unassisted, I climbed bloody Mount Rinjani (photograph), I lost all my ‘baby’ fat (my Mom lied, I was not cute at all and looked like blubber. But thanks Mom), I got a work promotion, I learned to make curry and I now know five extra Mandarin phrases (which includes “I’m tired”, and that is seriously important). But for more reasons than one, learning how to change toilet seats tops the list. I learned how to change toilet seats because a guy taught me. And so of course it was no longer about just learning how to change toilet seats, and my 2016 becomes admittedly, undoubtedly and thematically about another person. And before you deduce this as a pining write up about what used to be, I will tell you why it is not and why this is important. It is no secret that whether we like it or not, our lives are highly impacted by the people we meet along the way. I had always been a believer that you meet specific people at a specific time of your life to teach you specific lessons, and this one was no exception. And because most of my year had revolved around another singular person, I can’t possibly dissociate my personal development of 2016 from this story. It was somewhat a chance meeting and the minute it happened I knew it was going to only get bigger. Each of us would probably have had that experience at least once in a lifetime, meeting someone that was rather unconventional than the usual but the gut feeling stayed and comfort kicks in anyway. It was the timing, too – I had just came out of a long exhausting dwindling road of a complicated relationship, and 2015 was mostly focused on my Dad being sick. In many ways I was bruised and battered, and in came a new being who turned my life around. Through this relationship I had learned the big milestones. I had been so used to taking care of myself, and the aforementioned past relationship had given me severe trust and reliance issues. I slowly again learned that it was okay to let someone else take care of your sometimes, that it was not shameful to expose your weaknesses and vulnerabilities and to let others into your life even if you don’t think it is all that pretty to share. Most importantly, it is the self-elevation you get from the other person that must be truly valued. I did so many things I thought I was not able to do from sheer encouragement alone – from changing toilet seats to climbing Mount Rinjani and so many other things in between. As I sat by myself in this last leg of 2016 with the empty slots that used to be his space, I measured the things I have learned this year and realised that I have all but forgotten to be grateful. People come and people leave, but while they were there I must have gratitude. A man can be sincere and kind and expect no return, and although I had trouble believing this before, I do now. I remember a distinct moment when I was watching him cook me a meal in the kitchen and I was wondering if that would last, if he would stay and if I was doomed. Alas, here we are. 2016 has been gracious. It was both happy and sad, but as always I learned most about myself in the presence of others. I achieved a lot of physical milestones but more importantly were the spiritual ones – I was brought to life again in many ways and believed a lot more. Knowing another soul will teach you more than any book will ever do, and this person who came from a different culture and background had opened my eyes to so much more, whether it was intentional or not. It is easy to be comfortable in life as you know it, but to step into something new, something different than what you had ever known will always be one of life’s greatest adventures. So perhaps it is rather shameful to say that a year was mostly about a man. Perhaps. But perhaps the real shame lies in not recognising this gift, the lessons a person brings when they come along into our lives, adding values to change the way we see this life and the world even for just a little. And that for me is the biggest lesson 2016 has taught me. One day, a long time ago, a friend of mine was assaulted and as I went to visit and asked her the details of the incident, I proceeded with my next question. “So was he Malay/Chinese/Indian?”
To which my friend answered, “Why? Why does it matter?” Why does it matter? This little scene in my life will then proceed to become one of those small occurrences that passed me by, unnoticed by my own self but undoubtedly making a huge impact on me later on. Perhaps I was only asking to help myself further visualise this human being that assaulted my friend. But perhaps, it was also my subconscious mind showing the effects of many years being exposed to direct or indirect projection of racial profiling within the community I grew up in. I would later learn that it is really quite simple – a reliable friend is a reliable friend, a criminal is a criminal and a good man is a good man. And you’re a silly person to think that these are all subject to skin colour or how they like their rice. Many years ago I was on a college field work for two weeks, somewhere off the grid in the harsh outback of Australia. We were assigned to a partner for the whole two weeks, and mine was a tall gorgeous Australian girl, with lovely freckles and brown hair. I dreaded this at first because we rarely talked in class and it was impossible to imagine spending all that time with just this girl in the middle of nowhere, with just a map, packed sandwiches and rock samples. I’m sure she felt the same way too. There I was, an Asian girl with a hijab, a frame small enough that I could possibly be eaten by a kangaroo, and she probably saw some suicide bomber on CNN that looked like me. I mean, what can we possibly relate on? You could probably guess how this story ends. I eventually learned, after days and miles trekking together, naps by the railway tracks, lunches under the trees, freezing wet and caught in a storm by the roadside and getting sunburned beyond repair, the simple fact of it all; we are not really that different. We tell each other stories about our lives, and amidst the cultural and religious differences, here is what I understood. We love our family the same, we both get broken hearted the same, we both share humour over the craziness that is life, we both had hopeful plans for the future, and most of all, we both just want a joyful, content life. I was just there for my degree credits but as usual, life sneakily decided to teach me other things as well. Over the years I would meet people and experience the unfortunate discomfort of being racially profiled, because of the way I look or the way I dress. Such is the reality of the current world we live in. We often fear or hate things we don’t understand. On rare occasions I even find myself slanting towards this attitude, and immediately tell myself off. Such is the reality of a flawed human being sometimes. But then, occasionally you come across wonderful revolutionary people who understands the emphasis of character beyond what is physical. These people become friends, loved partners, trusted colleagues, even family. They would remind you that by the end of the day it is the connection, the meaningful relationships, the shared life aspirations and the happiness we bring to each other’s lives that would actually count. Those are the things we’ll reminisce when we’re eighty and watching the sunset from the balcony of our beach house (oh God I want a beach house). Happy Ramadhan to those celebrating. In about one week I’ll turn twenty-five.
Twenty five. 25. Wow. I don’t think I deserve to be 25 at all. In my mind I am still a big fat baby. When I was in high school I looked at my twenty-something year old relatives and thought that they were such grown adults who seemed to know exactly where their lives are headed and what they wanted to do. I sit in my room right now, in a rented apartment, and I think about that night I sat in bed and wrote resolutions on what I will accomplish as I turned 24. That was a year ago? Wow. What’s different since a year ago? Well some things remain the same, like my obsession with Coldplay, my thoughts on flat shoes (shouldn’t be worn in broad daylight) and my fondness for movies and my love for my family and friends. I still like Harry Potter books, I still love cooking and I still would like to go to Iceland. But in a year, so many things have been so different. I travelled more. I backpacked across Vietnam with a bunch of amazing people, and saw so many amazing things. I swam for the first time with turtles and sharks. I finally got involved with charity instead of just talking about it, and I loved the feeling that I am actually making an effort in trying to make a difference in the world. I discovered a new dimension with my family, from which I learned that the true essence of being a family is being able to pull through the bad times together and come out of it with more love for each other. After all, what is life if it is not with a family? Subsequently, this has also taught me a thing or two about men and relationships. It's not just about being consumed with the idea of finding a guy, any guy. It's about Mr Right, not Mr. Right Now (but of course, if they both happen to be the same guy, well then more power to you LOL). My twenty-fourth year has also showed a phase change – everyone seemed to be getting married and making babies! To tell you the truth, I was a bit taken aback by all these changes, and frankly a little pressured at first (especially at weddings. Why won't these aunties give me a break??), but with time I have learned that everyone has their own timing for everything that happens in their lives. There is no point comparing your life to others because they are never even for a second similar. We don't have the same time graph. Birth, death, wealth, hardships, we all have our own schedules for that. Everybody has a calling in life, and thus nobody should be judging anybody else about how their lives have turned out. Some things remained the same, and some things have changed, but some other things seem to still be in progress. I am still in the process of figuring out my path. Some days I look around and it seems like everyone knows exactly what they’re doing, and I am still pretty clueless. I am still planning my travels for the next few years – hopefully I’ll get to see the world a little bit more. I am still learning the curves of financial planning. I am still trying to become a better Muslim. I am still very excited about what life has in store for me. I hope I get to live my dreams and take my family along with me for a great many years, and grow old happily, spending my days on my front porch with a view together with my husband, sitting around laughing with my high school girlfriends like we always do, going for weekend trips with my bunch of friends, doing something I absolutely love for a living, having firm feet on the ground on my faith and religious beliefs, joining charities and changing the world. And of course, I hope I'll eventually have a really nice record player with all Coldplay songs on it. Based on my detailed (and highly accurate and qualified) observations of last year's progress.
a) Best Show of 2010 = How I Met Your Mother - I dub this the new 'Friends' b) Worst Show of 2010 = The Bachelor - Getting dumped is bad enough. Getting dumped on national TV? Clap clap clap. c) Best Movie of 2010 = RED - Awesomeness defined. d) Worst Movie of 2010 = the Last Airbender -Zzzzzzzzzz…. e) Most WTF Movie of 2010 = Due Date - It makes you want to shoot everyone in the cast, and laugh at the same time. f) Best Song of 2010 = Usher's OMG - Who doesn’t love a fine pimp who can dance, sing and looks good while doing that? g) Worst Song of 2010 = Lady Gaga’s Alejandro - Simply because she haunts my nightmares with that diaper body suit and gay dance. h) Best Adventure of 2010 = On a Seismic Ship for 3 weeks - Nothing beats sunsets on the ship’s deck everyday for 3 weeks in the middle of the ocean! i) Awesome-est time of 2010 = Weekend snorkeling trip at Kinabalu with the girls - Great destination + great gals = One helluva holiday. j) Hottest girl of 2010 = Megan Fox, hands down. k) Hottest dude of 2010 = Drogba, hands up. l) Fashion DON'T of 2010 = Mummy jeans - It's the sin of last century. Bertaubatlah. m) Biggest Regret of 2010 = Trying out Flying Fox - Highly unrecommended for people with height problems. n) Most loved person of 2010 = Marshall Eriksonn!! - It was a tie between him and Barney, but Marshall gives a good name to men again! o) Most hated person of 2010 = Lady Gaga - Too much freak is bad for health. p) Best lesson learned in 2010 = The best way to remember people who are gone is to remember the good times, and don’t hold grudges. q) Quote of 2010 = Fear is a friend who’s misunderstood, says John Mayer. r) Most important point to improve in 2010 = SAVE MORE MONEY THAN SHOPPING!!! Have a Good 2011!! House of Wax – If you get to a wax museum where there are no other tourists, promotion pamphlets and a website, run. Also, if you’re that girl from the group with the trashy lingerie running around in the jungle, chances are you probably won’t survive.
Definitely, Maybe – Sometimes what you’re looking for is right in front of you. And keep in mind that it takes some people a few bad relationships, a divorce and a kid to figure that out. So be warned. Forest Gump – Stay away from that dude who owns the shrimp restaurant. Or you’ll never hear the end of it. Star Wars – Queen Amidala is how Lady Gaga got the idea to become a freak show. And it is NOT possible to walk around in space without an oxygen tank. My Best Friend’s Wedding – Shit happens. Jennifer’s Body – Megan Fox is undeniably steaming hot. If she competes with you for your boyfriend, give up already. (500) Days of Summer – It is not possible to be wise and in love at the same time. Lord of the Rings – They lied. An elf is not supposed to look that cute (picture Orlando Bloom here). In fact, an elf is usually really tiny with hideous ears and a scrunched up face, much like a premature baby. Ocean’s 11, 12, 13 – Again, they lied. Criminals never look this good. If you don’t believe me look at all those mug shots. Legally Blonde – However lovable the character may be, in real life it is seriously annoying to see a girl in a pink suit tottering around with a Chihuahua. Pirates of the Caribbean – Don’t be the silly girl who fell in love with a pirate. They’re usually drunk half the time. Forgetting Sarah Marshall – For goodness sake, Hawaii is the last place to mend a broken heart. Go to Mekah. Wanted – Oh, who knows what the lesson is about. Let’s face it, we watched it because Angelina Jolie was in it. He’s Just Not That Into You – If a guy doesn’t give a shit, it’s because he really, really doesn’t give a shit. Love cures commitment phobia. Talentime – Malaysian movies are awesome sometimes. |
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