Have you ever been to a book reading before?
If you haven't, here's your chance! As mentioned before, we are having a book launch for Dumped: A Journey Of Lessons Through Breakups, Mishaps and Misadventures, on Saturday, 30th September, 2-4 pm, at MPH Bookstore, One Utama Mall, KL. The book launch will be really casual and fun - we're talking mixers, fun games and prizes, gifts for all guests, books on a discount and of course, a book reading! During the book reading, I will read aloud some parts of the book to everyone, and we could have a Q&A about it too. If you would like to dedicate the book to your loved ones (or yourself), I would be happy to sign them as well during this event! It's a free and open event, and I hope you'll come by and say hi! You can RSVP at the link below https://www.eventbrite.com/e/book-launch-dumped-lessons-through-breakups-mishaps-and-misadventures-tickets-37720555196 See you there!! Amal Update: My new book, DUMPED: A JOURNEY OF LESSONS THROUGH BREAKUPS, MISHAPS AND MISADVENTURES will be launched on Saturday, 2-4 pm, 30th September 2017, at MPH BOOKSTORE, ONE UTAMA Mall, KL. Of course everyone is invited, and I’ll let you know about the specifics soon!! Now, for the details of the book. I began writing this book in late 2015. At the time, I had no intentions of publishing it. It is certainly not my first manuscript either. I had begun writing since college and have had various “stories” or “books” that I wrote out of my love for literature, all kept just as personal archives. Eventually this book expanded itself, and with time it revealed to become a rather amazing story, in my personal opinion, to be published and shared. The first draft was completed in mid-2016, but since then I had re-written it thrice more because it just did not feel right enough (yes, I re-wrote the whole manuscript three times like a crazy person). Here are some need-to-know information about this book. What is this book about? Here’s a summary of it (the back cover of the book) What is this book NOT? It’s NOT a compilation of my blog entries, and it’s NOT a collection of my NST/other essays. It’s a story with a plot, and all texts are first-hand and original. Who is this book for? If you have ever had to grow up, past tense or current, this book is for you. And also if you like a good laugh! When can you get this book? It should be available in bookstores beginning 16 September 2017!! Changes will be updated. Where can you get this book? It is available in bookstores around Malaysia, and it’s also available in Singapore!! Bookstores: - ALL MPH Bookstores - ALL Borders Bookstores - ALL Kinokuniya Bookstores - Selected Popular Bookstores Can you get this book online? Yes! Try mphonline.com Can you get an eBook version? Not yet, but if there are a lot of demands we might figure something out! Will there be any future book readings? The first book reading will take place on Saturday, 2 pm, 30th September 2017, at ONE UTAMA Shopping Mall. It'll be a fun one where there will be gifts, prizes, games and a mixer! I’ll read some chapters of my book for you and let’s say hi to each other! Other book readings: I certainly hope so! I hope to do some readings in select locations, but so far have no solid schedules to share. I will keep you posted! I am so excited to share my first book with everyone, and so honoured to be part of our local Malaysian literary community! Words have power, and I hope mine will, in some ways, spread a little laugh, a little light and a little love around! Don’t forget to grab a copy, and see you at the book launch! The books are currently being distributed to bookstores from the warehouse!
(I think this is what it feels like to watch your kids go off to college) Pre-read Warning: This blog entry will have NO chill. Okay. Don’t worry, no one is getting an actual baby out of her body this time. OH MY GOD guys!! So excited to finally share that I will be publishing a book soon!! (Alright, fine. MPH Publishing house does the publishing. But you know what I mean) Here’s a sneak preview of what the book looks like! The book is called “Dumped: A Journey of Lessons Through Breakups, Mishaps and Misadventures”. The first chapter was written around 2015, and here it is now in the form of an actual, proper book! It has been such a labour of love. After two years of writing it (first year of doing un-constructed bits and pieces, second year of pulling it all together to make a story), three occasions of re-writing the whole manuscript and a few months of editing, MPH Publishing house will be publishing it by the end of September 2017. We’ll have a proper book launch where I will be doing some book-reading for you, have some awesome games/prizes, an opportunity for you to have a copy of the book and hopefully we can say hi to each other! I loved and enjoyed every single process of this book, and in turn I hope you’ll grab a copy and enjoy it too!
My book will be available at bookstores in MALAYSIA and SINGAPORE. Details for the book launch and where/how/when you can get it will be announced soon (you will also be able to buy it online, of course). I’ll also explain a little bit more about the book itself in the next blog entries. Till the next exciting update!! July and August had been rather hectic, but of course that did not stop me from my usual musings in NST! As always, each month I write one column on relationships, and another on health. For August, here's what I wrote about: 1. Relationships - "Thank, But No Thanks" which is a narration on an observation of a fellow male friend making a move on somebody he fancied, and how this is a reflection of pursuing things out of our comfort zones. 2. Health - "In Hot Water" relives an experience to a Hot Water Springs, and the sentiment it has on our society. Here's the link for the second column! https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/heal/2017/08/272587/amal-muses-hot-water In case you missed my column from two weeks ago, "Thanks, But No Thanks", you can read it too, at the link below.
https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/heal/2017/08/265371/amal-muses-thanks-no-thanks Many years ago, out of some strange epiphany I had, I decided to write down my expectations for myself when I eventually turn 30. Although I am always a believer that being present is of upmost importance in enjoying youth, I thought it would be good to set up little targets and milestone checks, something to aspire to. I eventually opened the letter again a few days ago, and my first impression was “Man, my handwriting hasn’t evolved!” But other than that, I'll tell you this; if you're not convinced whether you have grown at all in the past decade, doing this is a surefire way to prove otherwise. I’ve cropped excerpts of the letter here to share, except some paragraphs that I thought was so embarrassing that no one other than the writer should ever read it again. It started off rather innocently. You can see how vanity was very evident in the earlier years of my twenties. (cringe) Yes, I suppose SK2 really does work. No, I don't have a treadmill at home. (more cringe-worthy stuff) Good God woman, that is a whole lot of discussion on products (and yes, I do use Touche Eclait now hahaha). It turns out that I do like my job(s) now, and I did become a published writer. And I'm glad the younger me had the same sentiment about money as I do now. I obviously was not thinking about retirement savings at that point of time. Silly gal. Next, I went on about how I expected myself to be more involved in community work. Honestly, I am not doing enough volunteer work or contributing as much as I thought I should. Something to improve on as a way forward! Apparently, I was also psychic. Here I discussed the pros of my current life status, as though I knew exactly where I'd be when I'm 30. It was also a very long, detailed write-up about how I should be enjoying it. It became very apparent in these paragraphs that I was afraid of giving up my independence, something I still struggle with today. Hey, 23 year-old me. I still agree with everything you just said here! (*tear*) "And I also don't like to make sacrifices and compensations..." Wow. I was pretty selfish when I was younger. Happiness truly is key. It was true then and it is still true now.
It is insane to be 30. INSANE! Although a birthday is nothing but just a numerical milestone, it feels that I am so far away from that same girl who wrote those letters. So much has happened, and I could never imagine ever being that same girl of 23 again. I saw things that left me starry eyed, I did things I never thought I had the capability of doing and most importantly, I met people who had tremendously changed my life. Now that I am on the other side of the twenties, I guess what I’d say from my experiences is… don’t wait. If you want to do something, go for it. There will never be a better time. If you find something that gives you joy, don't give them up. You might never get the opportunity again. Some things in life really do only happen once. Don’t wait. This week's column is pretty self-explanatory through its title ;)
I've posted the entire column below! PS: Everytime I say I was going to change my profile picture to something less Colgate-ish, I forget. Good Lord. Love In Three Decades By Amal Ghazali It is my birthday month. This year is a huge numerical milestone for me, and as soon as that sunk in I had an immediate panic attack. Already? Where have the years gone? Why don’t I feel wise at all? Should I smile less to make sure I don’t have wrinkles? And most importantly, what have I learned? Well, we could go on all day on the subject of lessons, but this time I am compelled to specifically discuss the lessons on love and relationships, a summary of what the past decade has taught me. I began my third decade like any average twenty year-old. I was from an all-girls boarding school and so college was a culture shock – look at those boys! I had no idea what I was doing, what I wanted or what it was all for. All I knew was that dates got me free food, free movie tickets (chivalry was not dead yet) and free adoration. When you have a minimal sense of who you are as a person and what you want in life, be sure to expect your relationships to be doomed into oblivion as well. Ten Years’ Worth of Lessons Over the years life occurred in a way that completely shifted and changed me from that unsure, indecisive and hormonal twenty year old into someone else. Recently I was in a car with a friend, talking about life and relationships. Suddenly, she turned to me and said, “You know, you sound so different than how you used to think five years ago.” But of course. Life inflicts gradual changes in you through experiences, and there is no denying that the past ten years have been nothing short of a great series of lessons for me. That boring date I had with the most boring guy on earth taught me a thing or two about chemistry. That night I went for a swim in the sea with friends at 3 a.m., ending at the hospital emergency room 2 hours later, taught me the difference between fun and stupidity (surprise! Sorry Mom). That time I was in love, and then out of love, taught me a truth about men – that like me, they too are flawed but trying their best. Forgiveness is imperative in love. But through loving and being around others, perhaps the biggest lesson I have learned is about loving myself. This sounds like some hokey pokey Hallmark greeting card material, but it’s true. Is it worth changing yourself for others? If so, to what extent? I have realised that there are things I could never do or a version I could never become, just for the sake of not wanting to be alone. I understood when it’s time to let go, or when it’s time to be brave so that someday, I will never have any regrets. I learned that in the end, people will always judge you on how you conduct your life, so it is pointless to make decisions driven by the anxiety of worrying what others will think about you. Ten years ago I was also doing it wrong in so many ways. I believed that physical beauty is the only key to guarantee consistent affection, so I concentrated more on that and less on other types of personal development. I certainly don’t think so any more. Granted, looks can attract people, but it certainly won’t keep them around for the right reasons. If that beauty is all you have to offer to make people love you, then you should be really, really concerned. Age, A Blessing In Disguise There is always this association to fear when it comes to ageing. There is the fear of losing youth, of having less time to take that Eurotrip we always wanted to do but never did, and of never quite achieving the dreamy milestones we had for ourselves when we first started adulthood. But the truth is, growing up is a beautiful, beautiful thing. There is a mass difference between the wisdom you know now and what little you knew then. Most of us are much happier in our bodies today than we were ten years ago. We now know what works and what doesn’t (exhibit A: my denim overalls from 2007). We’re not naïve anymore, which allows us to make better choices in friends, decisions and partners. Our self-worth is better, the need to live a fulfilling life based on our terms more important than say, worrying what others think. And finally, growing up would teach us the most important thing about love – that is wherever we are, whoever we are with at whatever point in our lives, we need to take care of our own selves first instead of relying on others. No one in this world can do a better job at loving us than ourselves. I posed a simple question to a bunch of people (and by bunch, I mean that I spread it out to be as diverse as possible culturally/socially), in the name of research. “What is something from your Twenties that you wish you had done differently/better?” Surprisingly, across different cultures and current social backgrounds, everyone seem to have a thematically similar answer. NOT surprisingly, men (about 15 of them) had a thematically similar answer – they wish they had dated more in their twenties. (Insert side-eye smiley) As a summary, here is a list of top choices of what everyone should at least strive to do before they turn 30, based on summarized answers from the survey and personal experiences. NOTE: Answers have been filtered to make them less specific/vulgar 1. Befriend someone completely different than you Or date someone completely different than you. Whichever floats your boat, really. Chances are most of us live in this comfortable cocoon, where everyone has the same background, the same beliefs, the same culture and the same perspectives. The bad news is, this has a tendency to turn us into narrow-minded folks, makes us less empathetic towards others and frankly, is why we have so many hate crimes around the world. Getting to know someone different from us will open our eyes to so much more than we have ever known, and perhaps, if we’re lucky, show us different and better ways to live our lives. 2. Travel This seems like generic common advice, but you’ll be surprised how so many of us have not even ventured out even beyond our own hometowns. For a lot of people, traveling is a great driver for personal development. Looking at other places and people in different parts of the world will either make us grateful for the things we have, or motivated to want to do more. Traveling adds to wisdom, open-ness and also intellect. That is also probably a reason why well-traveled men are so, so very sexy. #justsaying 3. Start taking care of your health Someone from the survey said that he wished he had taken better care of his life during his younger days. Chances are not many of us would be bothered to be mindful of looking after our wellbeing when we’re younger (exhibit A: I used to have boiled hotdogs for dinner almost every night of the week). By mid-thirties it would all start to surface – too much sugar, drinks, fast food and processed meats will now translate to badly-ageing skin, expanding waistlines, and deteriorating bodily functions. So take heed while you can. 4. Be in love, at least once I’ll make this one short; you will never learn as much about yourself and your life more than you would through loving others, and all the processes of it, be it the infatuation, the connection to another person, and even getting your heart broken. All amazing, important lessons. 5. Try something physically extreme The ‘twenties’ is called the ‘prime years’ for a reason! Maximize your youthful exuberance and the best years of your physical shape by trying out something physically demanding. Perhaps go for extreme hiking. Or maybe a few days’ worth of jungle trekking. And how about a diving expedition? Before the joint pains, knee aches and the plummet of physical strength begins, best enjoy the opportunity to try these things. 6. Achieve a dream No, it doesn’t have to be as extravagant as traveling the world or as ambitious as becoming a millionaire. It could be any dream, even as simple as learning how to cook, going for piano lessons or finally going to see your favorite band play. Don’t put them off, because the older you get the more commitments you’ll have, therefore reducing your chances of ever getting around to achieve your dreams, whatever that may be. 7. Have a journal
Someday, you will wonder where the years had gone by when you were young and wild and free. So for those days, keep a journal to remind your older self later that in fact, you did have an eventful life with memorable milestones. If you can’t be disciplined enough to keep a daily journal, then have a weekly/monthly one, or if even that is not possible, keep your social calendars as a memento. 8. Learn to handle stress Newsflash: The challenges get harder. Life is almost like a video game, designed to keep improving your life skills and quality of self. It is never too early to figure out what works best for you in terms of handling hard times. This is not as easy as it seems as people react differently to different things. It could be yoga, praying, binge-watching the Kardashians, a shrink, owning a pet monkey – your future self will thank you for establishing it early. 9. Be alone And I can’t stress this enough. Through the people that are constantly in our lives and the responsibilities we have to take – mother, daughter, friend, spouse, Insta-celeb – it is easy to lose ourselves in height of these things. Being alone, whether for a period of time, a phase or even just a little while, allows for a space to re-center ourselves, immerse in our own thoughts, and re-calibrate. Don’t be thinking about other places you could be or other people you could be with. If you can’t make yourself happy and feel enough on your own, no one can. 10. Do something for someone else The twenties is a selfish period of time. Between trying to find ourselves, adjusting into adulthood and wanting to have lots of fun, contributing to others often ends up in the backburner. It is mostly about me-me-me and less about doing things for the sake of helping others with no personal gains. But devoting time for the benefit of others, either through charity, volunteer work or even helping someone with their life will help set us in the right headspace of becoming a citizen with value. There is no point living if all you’re doing is exist, work and die. For the month of June I decided to write something a little more personal for the first article. There is always a hesitance when it comes to writing about something I find personally uncomfortable, but then again I always feel that meaningful literature should always be honest and truthful about discussing life as it is. (I actually cringed as I clicked 'send' to my NST editor, and regretted writing it afterwards)
For the second article, I wrote about something that I thought was relevant to the happenings of the month - the fasting month! Truth be told I am just a normal being with lots of complains amidst my preaches for gratefulness during the good month, but writing this article served as a useful reminder to myself that like everything else in life, if you keep on your goals, you'll whine less (hopefully). You can click on the links below to read the full articles! A GHOST STORY https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/heal/2017/06/248390/ghost-story FASTING FURIOUSLY https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/heal/2017/06/252434/fasting-furiously Enjoy reading! PS: I also enjoy getting your feedback, as they help make the articles better for readers and let me know what you'll enjoy reading about. Thanks and do keep them coming! This week on 'Amal Muses', I discuss the pressures of being skinny (you know it happens to almost every red-blooded gal). You can read the whole column below! PS: I should really think twice about publishing a pasty, makeup-less picture of myself in the papers next time LOL AMAL MUSES: The Thin Dream By Amal Ghazali Let’s face it. Every woman, at some point in their lives, wished they were thin or thinner than they already were. No matter how embracing you are of your own figure, there will be a time when you come across a poster of Megan Fox and begin to daydream about a day where your bum does not resemble a deflating beach ball. We live in a material world where physical appearance matters. And whether we like it or not, physical appearance in this context usually means a thinner, leaner and less pudgy you. I can’t speak for every woman, but I can certainly reflect on my own experiences as a young woman in an era of a specifically celebrated body type. Growing up most of my friends were females, and body image issues were often a theme in our discussions. Part of emerging into adulthood also meant blossoming physically, with hormones askew and pressures to idolise a media-approved figure skyrocketing. Today it is not any less daunting, as declining metabolism, motherhood and such becomes emerging limitations. It Started With A Boy, Of Course But of course it started with the appealing idea of gaining attention from a boy. I came from an all girls’ school, which meant high school years free of being body conscious for the sake of the opposite sex. My first glimpse of the underlying teenage esteem issues was when a girl I shared a dormitory with forced herself to throw up almost every night after dinner. She had a boyfriend at the time and the desired shape amongst her social circle was not curvy. Then I went to college and began to see boys - a lot of them too. With that came the sudden realisation of male adoration, and with that adoration came a consciousness to look worth adoring. As a student I lived with other girls from the same college, and thus began the antics of comparing ourselves with others, trying out fads and diets, introducing ourselves to various trendy exercise regimes and experimenting with commercial products apparently guaranteed to give you waistlines smaller than Malik Noor’s arm. I had a housemate who tried the Herbalife supplement, but the idea of replacing two meals a day for a liquid shake gave me shivers. I decided to opt for an Atkins diet instead, surviving for only three and a half days. Not eating any carbs made me feel so lethargic that I hallucinated about crawling towards the fridge in the middle of the night. A friend decided that perhaps weed could make you lose weight, but the concept did not seem sustainable (or legal). I had a stint of not eating rice at all, and let me tell you, asking a Malaysian girl to not eat rice is almost suicidal. And then as employment came in, so did the pay check that subtly urged us to shift our views towards purchasable aids to make us smaller. There was a stint of a new-age corset with some strange infra-red technology, promising to make you lose weight effortlessly just by putting them on. There were those magical ‘drinks’ that could allegedly burn fat from the inside, a vibrating machine that could apparently shake the calories out of you, and even expensive massages to tone your way into a Jessica Alba. The list is endless. I was either a witness or a participant of most of these things, and I began to realise that the circle was never ending. We were complaining about wanting to be thin when we were girls, and we are still doing that same exact thing twenty years later. It Is Normal To Want To Be Thin In general, a balanced body weight is of course a preliminary indicator of a healthy body. Aesthetically, the common culture would assess that the slimmer shape is more desirable. It makes me wince to say that, but that’s the truth of what you see on magazines and TV. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense why most of us yearn to have a thinner physique. But against these dreams is also the question of compromising our actual health. We take so-called mysterious ‘supplements’, put on strange devices and obsess over our bodies to the point that it tampers with our self-esteems. Ironically, our mental and physical state are declining as we attempt to appear thinner. What a bizarre contradiction. For those who didn't get the chance to read my column earlier in May (above), you can do so by going to the link below.
https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/heal/2017/05/239620/amal-muses-third-wheel Enjoy reading! Hi guys!
This week in 'Amal Muses' I talk about Yoga, but not just about back-bending, of course! No online publication for this one, but read below for the whole text. Enjoy! Bending Backwards in Competition By Amal Ghazali When it comes to Yoga, most of the stories you would hear is about how someone was going on a downward spiral emotionally and physically, and one day they came across a beacon of light that was Yoga, and now they meditate everyday and have achieved upmost bliss and Nirvana where they can quiet the mind and hear imaginary waterfalls somewhere in the distance, while standing upside down. This is not one of those stories. My relationship with Yoga began like this; there was a free class in my University, I went for it because I couldn’t afford a gym membership and was bored, kind of liked it, and the rest was history. Over the years I had an on/off relationship with Yoga. I am a mediocre student, which means what I lack in flexibility I make up with a lot of giggling during an otherwise quiet class, and I needed to be forced to push myself further. Recently I was intrigued to try out a slightly different type of Yoga class called Mysore Yoga. Historically, it is a type of Yoga practice originating from a place called Mysore, India. Symbolically, the name basically hints at what will happen to you the next day – sore all over. The Lesson Begins The class started at 7 a.m. which was as early as when I get up to go to work. The concept of the class was rather different than what I was used to. For two hours, I would be doing my poses alone, unlike the usual class where everyone follows what the instructor does. The point was that I would be doing Yoga according to my own pace, instead of being slowed down by other beginners or rushed up by more advanced students. My instructor’s name was Freda, a fine exotic-looking lady with lean muscles and ballerina limbs that made me feel like a soggy, over-boiled sausage just standing next to her. The first fifteen minutes were great. They were poses I was used to, and I began to feel slightly cocky with the fact that I could do them all rather easily. I checked myself out in the studio’s mirror, looking poised and firm in my Downward Dog pose. I glanced to my side and saw another girl turning her body into a round-shaped human ball, which was then rolled around by Freda. Wait. What? Am I expected to do that too? That looked… impossible. My initial confidence immediately simmered down. The next hour was a blur of muscle quivers and sweat dripping down my face. Freda seemed like a disguised, soft spoken angel who was determined to turn me into a human pretzel. Who knew I could put my legs there? Even my legs were surprised. Why was my right arm on my left side? Lord knows, but there I was. The minute I saw another girl do a strange pelvic twist, I got nervous. I was absolutely confident I could not pull that off. I saw Frieda walk slowly towards my direction. Please, God, not me. I began to wish that she was going to call some other girl to do it. Please don’t look at me. She looked right at me. “Alright Amal,” she said, her voice so soothing that I began to wonder if she was also a part-time shrink. “Next, do the Shashawasanapaka pose.” Or at least I think that was what she said. The names of these poses are extremely bizarre. The next day, I spent my Sunday on the couch with ice on my bum. It’s A Lot Like Life Sure, there are all those well-known obvious benefits of Yoga. It increases your muscle strength and tones them, which in turns protects them from easy injury. For some people, it even teaches them how to calm the nerves, and God knows we need that these days. But that Mysore class I went to also taught me something else. By the end of the session I found out that most of the other students were instructors themselves, which explained their much superior capabilities compared to mine. Although being amongst them made me push myself that much harder, it also brought into question the matter of comparing oneself to others. Like a lot of other things in life, we tend to sometimes look to the sides and become consumed with being at par with other people. Perhaps I was doing well by my own standards, but watching that other girl put her head under her legs gave me unnecessary pressure that perhaps what I was doing was not good enough. And so in Yoga, as well as in life, it is pointless to measure yourself against others, and you should always focus on improving yourself by your own personal standards. |
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