I burst through the office door with gusto. I think I accidentally shoved a lady who was walking at sloth speed carrying a bad choice for breakfast, and I think she thought I was late for a meeting. I wasn’t. I threw my bag on the desk and quickly logged into my computer, my headscarf askew. Every minute counts. Every single second makes a difference.
The online ticket sale had not started. I sighed a little but was glad that I was now in the virtual ‘waiting room’, a website to queue up with possibly thousands of other people, waiting for my chance to grab my tickets. That morning I was going to pull off the ultimate multitasking act – conducting a work meeting and trying to buy Coldplay concert tickets at the same time.
I had it all pictured so vividly in my head. A trip to Singapore. Me in the crowd of thousands, singing along to tunes I had heard since my college years. Tunes that I had on replay through every important young adult milestones, every day dream, every road trip and every melancholic life event. I hated concerts and I hated crowds. There is nothing appealing about standing next to sweaty strangers who would probably yell so loud my eardrums would buzz. The people on stage would be so tiny I can’t see a single thing. But for Coldplay? Complete exception.
I was finally at the final stage of ticket purchase, the payment website. My heart was soaring. I stared at the ‘page loading’ icon as though my life depended on it. I needed my morning tea, but that can wait. I had a tummy ache, but that can wait. I was working but I was constantly checking that website every thirty seconds.
Error purchasing tickets. Please try again.
I was taken aback. What? What?? This cannot be. I tried again. Same results. And after about an hour, there is was. TICKETS ARE SOLD OUT. I stared at the computer screen in silent frustration. I told the Russian guy who sat next to me about it and he laughed. I decided I didn’t like him today. I found myself feeling angry and disappointed. Strangely very angry and disappointed.
Wait. Hang on. Let’s hold back the crazy for a minute. What was wrong with me?
I made myself a cup of tea and relaxed a little. I still could not shake off that feeling of being bummed out. They were just concert tickets. Why was I feeling too overwhelmed about it? I gave it a little thought. As the day went on and the annoyance wore off, I began to realise that maybe, just maybe, it really wasn’t just about the tickets after all.
The truth was, I just… I needed a win.
I needed a win because I had been having a rather rough couple of months over life things, and I have not had much to be excited about. On normal days I would’ve possibly gotten over the disappointment of not getting the tickets immediately, but the prolonged frustration made me realise that the truth was, it was more than just about being able to get tickets. The last couple of months felt like a long episode of going downhill, and when news broke over the Coldplay concert tickets my face lit up at the slightest indication of something fun or happy at the distant horizon.
So of course, when the bigger odds of me not getting the sought after, uber-popular show came to be, I became exasperated. I had enthusiastically tried buying them on two different days. Why can’t I get these damn tickets? Why? I’ve tried so hard. Why can’t I just catch a break for once? Why is everything being like a shit ball rolling downhill? This is when I realised I was actually getting frustrated over other reasons and decided to pump the brakes.
It is no secret that sometimes life does not happen the way we want them to be. It is also no secret that this is sometimes hard to accept, especially if we feel that we had given everything we’ve got to offer and somehow, it still seemed as though it was not good enough. But although these things are known, the human side of us would still feel let down when they happen, and when they do happen somewhat consecutively we can sometimes get a little overwhelmed by it all.
And sometimes, all we need is a little win. Just so we could feel like our usual positive selves again.