The Clam Condition
By Amal Ghazali It’s funny how something could start off so wonderfully, and within an instant it could immediately turn around into a full blown nightmare. This was exactly my thought as I hauled my heavy backpack in the freezing night in Kyoto, trying to not miss my flight to Manila while also struggling to refrain myself from throwing up for the nth time that day. It was my last day in Japan after what seemed like an amazing travel for a couple of weeks, and as luck would have it, I had managed to get food poisoning as the grand finale. I could still recall the night before. My friends and I were exhausted from a day of hiking, and on our last night in Kyoto we wanted to have a quick fix, cheap sushi dinner (this was the last day after all, and we were short of cash). A quick Google research pointed out a nearby place with a good price range, and soon we found ourselves enjoying generic, amazing sushi on an upstairs floor of the building. For good measure, I decided to order a clam miso soup, and remarked that my friends were not as adventurous, as I complimented how delicious the soup was. Clams and I have a pretty dark history. I absolutely adore seafood, but there were times where I would experience the rare occasion of indigestion due to their consumption, specifically speaking the shellfish kind. But of course I was not reminded of this as I slurped away that night, thinking that this was Japan, after all, where food is superior and there couldn’t be anything possibly wrong with indulging in some clammy goodness. I woke up the next morning hurling in the toilet, and the rest of the day was just a blur of projectile vomit, headaches and heady waves of nausea. To make matters worse, I had no choice but to be functional that day, as we had to take the train back to Osaka and board a flight to Manila, my last leg of this particular travel adventure. Getting Sick While Traveling If you travel often, it’s probably only a matter of time before you experience at least an episode of getting sick abroad. It’s all the case of probability, folks. Feeling unwell is bad enough at home, but imagine nursing a fever, coping with diarrhoea or being down with flu while you need to be constantly moving and are far away from the familiar comforts of your bed, food or even weather. It’s not an ideal situation, but these things really do happen more often than we think. With that in mind, here are some tips that I’ve learned along the way that may help you manage the situation if it should ever occur to you in the future. First of all, preparation is key. Regardless of the kind of health state you are in, no one is completely exempted from suddenly catching something – virus, bacteria or even just the change of weather. That being said, pack with you the essentials for the ‘common’ travel illnesses, such as the medications for colds, headaches and digestion issues. Even if I’m backpacking with limited luggage space, I consider these remedies as necessary and I don’t travel without them. Furthermore, I have found that in some countries these basic medications can be expensive, or worse, not exactly compatible with your body (some painkillers can irritate your stomach if you’re not used to them, for example). The next important point to remember is that prevention is always better than cure. In my case, I should’ve probably reminded myself that although I was feeling adventurous, my digestion system might not share a mutual sentiment. Research is helpful, and reviewing restaurants in new places will identify possible risks you might not know of. If you know yourself to be allergic or sensitive to certain things, consuming them while traveling is perhaps a bad idea. The same could be said of other circumstances as well, such as not staying out too late if your body is not used to it back home, or reducing the exposure to certain weather conditions (rain, too much sun etc.) if you are prone to get ill from these situations. And of course, if by some unfortunate chance you still get sick, there is no other choice but to plough through them. If it’s serious then of course you’d have to seek proper medical assistance, but if it’s the common illness that is personally bearable or manageable, take these few recommended steps to reduce the torture and promote faster recovery. Drink lots of water, and although this is pretty much common sense, most of us tend to forget this especially while traveling. Stick to only ‘safe’ foods, and this means neutral, non-irritating menus. Food that are too spicy or raw may encourage the situation, for example. Even consider taking the day off from visiting public places or being too adventurous – perhaps your body could benefit from the extra rest and chill at the hotel for the day. This is especially true if you’ve been out and about for days on end, and your body is lacking the proper rest it needs. Unfortunate Episodes Do Happen The bad news is, travel, like life, doesn’t always go as perfectly as we’d plan. Sickness isn’t exactly considerate of our vacation dreams, and as much as we hope it doesn’t happen, it still does, sometimes in the worst of places. I had a friend who caught a bad case of scabies while on a month-long Trans-Siberian train adventure, and she described it as an itchy nightmare while being confined in a train’s coach for days. Just when you thought that traveling can be as picture perfect as the documentaries you see on the Discovery Channel. But hopefully the next time you go for an adventure across the globe you’d be better prepared for any health possibilities. Then maybe you’d be able to avoid another episode of barfing your guts out around the beautiful city of Kyoto like I did. Tuesday By Amal Ghazali
About two weeks ago my publisher held a book launch for my second book, Tuesday, in Mid Valley Megamall. A lot of people turned out – family, friends, media, and other fellow book lovers. It was an overall fun event, and as usual, like any other book launch by writers anywhere in the world, I did a book reading. A book reading is simply a session where the author would pick out an excerpt from his/her book, read it to the audience, and answer any possible questions. There were two major thoughts that came through my mind as I read my own book using a microphone to an audience. The first one was whether or not I locked my apartment that day before I left, amidst the chaos of wanting to arrive on time with my family. The second one was how surreal that moment was, holding an actual book (!) that initially began as just a random, incessant thought in my head. ‘Inspiration’ seems to be the go-to word people would use to describe this scenario. So I suppose the inspiration for writing Tuesday began about more than a year ago, even before my first book, Dumped, was published. I was dwelling a lot on the concept of forgiveness, mainly driven by the observations that so many of us had done wrong or had been done wrong, all in the name of self-discovery and self-progression. It was such a beautiful thing to learn – learning from mistakes, seeking or giving forgiveness, making peace with others, making peace with ourselves, and eventually, growing to become better people. This was the inspiration that begun the writing process for this second manuscript. But like the first book, I could never quite know how the story would turn out or how the ending would look like. I would just write and write, and somehow I’ll end up at the edge of the road, and that’s how I know that particular story has ended. It will become a single manuscript, which is sent out to a publisher, and someone in the publishing business will decide that it is worthy of being printed in thousands to be shared with the world. That’s how Tuesday was born. Fuelling The Inspiration Sometimes, inspiration occurs at the strangest moments. I won’t even deny that some of the ones I’ve had were acquired during a toilet break, while eating a sandwich on a gloomy day, or even right in the middle of conversations with people around me. It is only a spark of thought, but what I would have to do is to keep fuelling it enough to become a complete expression, whether in the form of an essay, a newspaper article or even a book. I find that traveling is especially good in keeping the enthusiasm consistent during writing. For Tuesday, I was inspired to write a book that was part story and part travelogue. I wanted to write about a story that takes place in a location so vivid and profound that it could even be perceived as an additional character, and so I went to Paris and made sure I was right there when I wrote about it. Many writers have done this before, as real-life encounters give the best form of inspiration. Proclaimed director and producer, Sean Penn, for example, transported himself to the mountainous jungles of Mexico to meet the notorious drug lord El Chapo just so that he could have material for an essay he was working on with Rolling Stones magazine. Now I’m no Sean Penn (I have better hair), but I can attest that it is sometimes research is necessary in order to attain and sustain inspiration. Speaking of which, Tuesday was also written in a number of places – on a friend’s desk of his place in Lyon, at a small coffee table in a dodgy Airbnb in Barcelona, transcribed in notebooks in a hostel in Tokyo, at my parents’ dining table in Kedah, and during quiet mornings in a small village in Greece, to name a few. All these places brought a different feeling in the air and a different kind of perspective during the writing process. And then, when the book is done, the next biggest challenge is overcoming the insecurities of expression. We live in an era where everyone seems to have an opinion about everything, and be it as it may, negative criticisms are more often than not difficult to swallow. After all, when you’ve worked hard on something for a very long time and given it everything you’ve got, it is only natural to feel somewhat bummed out if the product is not exactly the favour of consumers. I find these especially daunting in a case of publishing literature, as we all know that it is a form of art, and there is no such thing as an art that pleases everyone. Furthermore, there is always the dilemma between being honest about expression, and having this exposure of vulnerabilities read and picked apart by readers really is anxiety-inducing. Be Fearless After the book launch was over and everyone has left, I thought about the people that showed up who had always believed in me and readers who loved my work, even when I was frequently questioning my own legitimacy as a writer myself. It began to dawn on me that if for nothing else, being fearless about expressing your inspirations and sharing it with people could end up giving joy to others or inspire them in return to progress, travel, change their perspective of things and to even heal. So maybe that’s a good enough reason for us to keep looking out for inspirations, and to nurture them to become something that could be shared in a positive manner. We all impact the people around us, the only difference being whether we are doing so in a way that uplifts people or otherwise. The former is always a better option. Note: Tuesday is available in all major bookstores in Malaysia and Singapore. The Year Of Gratitude
By Amal Ghazali With the emergence of the New Year, I found myself once again packing my bags for yet another adventure. This time, it was West Sumatera, Indonesia, for about a week. It was a rather immediate decision, but I’ve come to learn that the best things in life always seem to unravel during moments of unplanned, random occurrences. It would almost appear that being there was the perfect breath of fresh air to commemorate the appearance of yet another year. A creature of habit, I always seem to make it a point to make an official list of what I would like to achieve, and plan my whole year around them. A lot of people seem to think that making new year resolutions is such a cliché, but for me it’s a way to form solid aims and goals, or otherwise I would feel like I’m just drifting about while another year passes me by. West Sumatera is a beautiful place. I spent most of my time around Padang, and there were times when I found myself in small, off-the-grid towns. The kind of low key places you wouldn’t find much information about on Google, with no ‘real’ tourist attractions and hardly any Westerner in sight. Unlike the more popular areas of Indonesia, the small towns were modest, with people living simple lives based on mainly agriculture or farming. No fancy restaurants, no five-star hotels, and not even Grab service in some places. But let me be the first to tell you about how nice the people are. The locals are even nicer than your usual Asian-nice. The hospitality is great, crime rates are low, and people are so kind and helpful to the point where you begin to wonder if there is a CCTV planted somewhere by the government to monitor everyone’s behaviour. Despite the fact that these people work hard and have a generally tougher life than we do back home, it is easy to tell that they have a higher score of contentment in their day-to-day lives. First World Problems If you’ve been meddling with the Internet long enough, you’ll notice that there is a coined term called ‘first world problems’. What this generally mean is the need to assess trivial problems in a manner as though they are life-shattering, when they are not. This is absolutely common, especially among my generation within a privileged lifestyle. Some examples include but may not be restricted to; complaining about low internet speed, whining about being bored with an everyday job that pays well, or taking the comforts of a financially stable life for granted. Admittedly, I am certainly one of those people who often ponder on these ‘first world problems’. Sometimes, I would come across an unfortunate event, and I would hone in into this specific problem, with little regard to everything else in my life that’s going well. I think about how my house isn’t that nice as the ones I see in interior magazines, when in fact I am so lucky to even have one. I am quick to feel bored with my corporate work, meanwhile forgetting that some people are struggling to make ends meet with minimum wage or hard labour. My real low point once came when I was having a terrible day and found myself thinking, “nothing right ever happens to me!” How dare I? There I was, in nice clothes, driving my own car, back from a job that has allowed me to travel and live comfortably, while talking to my parents who have always been there for me, and I had seem to not notice any of these great things in my life. I was a prime example of someone with a lot of privileges and very little gratitude. Act On That Gratitude It’s easy to say that you’re thankful for the life you’ve had. But it’s not enough to just say you’re grateful. Anyone could do that. To really cultivate the appreciation, action is required. And no other action shows it better than doing something for the benefit of other people. Selflessness is epitome act of gratitude over the blessings you have. I am not saying we should all start joining a hunger-relief missionary or sign up for UNICEF. But maybe, with the start of the New Year, I could begin with the little things by investing my time for other people, spending more time with family, helping out friends more often, or the occasional local volunteering work. Even charity, as little as giving out a couple of ringgit to the less fortunate, is a great little reminder of how much we have. The comparable value, for example, of how little 5 ringgit means to us versus how significant it is to someone else, is a great opportunity for self-reflection and humility. And perhaps, with better humility and bigger gratitude, we could all experience yet another year with an improved perspective, and eventually, a more contented life altogether. Get Up And Dance
By Amal Ghazali There was a moment this year. It was a Sunday morning. I had woken up early, and in the morning light I put on my boots and went outside the cottage rental I was staying at, plucked a lemon from its tree and made some hot lemon tea. They say Amalfi lemons are some of the best in the world, and I agree. After that I went to sit at the writing desk by the window that faced the vast, open sea. I sat there and wrote for hours, with the gentle breeze coming through the curtains smelling of the sea, my Italian chocolate handy by the laptop with my hot lemon tea. Down the road, I could see the local farmers working in their olive farm, with rows upon rows of beautiful olive trees growing on the long, beautiful Italian coastline. The moment came after a few hours of writing. I stopped looking at my laptop, and stared outside at the beautiful view. I was somewhere in Salerno, but I couldn’t even tell you where I was exactly even if I wanted to. There was nothing there except for my cottage, a few other houses, a very angry dog tied to the tree at the edge of the road, a small grocery store, a café with exactly 2 tables and a bus that came by every hour. I was sitting there writing my second book. I realised that because of certain choices I have made in my life, there I was, in a wonderful Italian village doing what I love best. That was very early in 2018. In the beginning of this year I made a plan to have minimal plans. I remember writing about it in NST in January. 2017 had been a little overwhelming for plenty of reasons, and so I thought that as an experiment, why not try to live through 2018 as spontaneously as possible? What happens if all I do is focus on reconnecting with myself, stop wallowing about the past, pause worrying about the future, throw caution to the wind and live everyday of the year doing whatever I feel like doing? Would days seem any different? Would I enhance the quality of my life? Analysing The Experiment The result? I took time off work to travel solo, meet up with friends, and write as much as I’d like in beautiful places. I found myself on a random skiing trip to a place I’ve never even heard of in Prapoutel, France. I had the best sushi of my life in Tokyo with a Japanese dude I have never even met before. I went to see Vikos Gorge in Greece, the second-deepest canyon in the world I had never even knew existed. I ate half my body weight in Italy. I climbed the highest I had ever been; The Ananpurna Base Camp. I was stuck at a lonely café during a rainstorm in Barcelona. I had food poisoning in Santorini and threw up everywhere. Of course I couldn’t always be traveling. Unlike the characters in Crazy Rich Asians, I have bills and mortgages to pay, an employer with expectations, and a family I’m very close to. But even on the weeks where I was at home, I stayed true to my commitment of trying to live a full, spontaneous lifestyle. In that spirit, I made a choice to finally try out everything I have been meaning to but never got around to because of ‘life reasons’ (and this could include these excuses but not limited to – I’m too busy, I’m too tired to do anything after work, I don’t see the point, I just feel like being lazy and watching Netflix). So I found myself pounding a punching bag in a kickboxing gym almost every Tuesday after work, a place I’ve always been too intimidated to go. It turns out that not everyone there was a professional fighter after all. I practiced playing the Ukulele every week even though I still sound like an American Idol reject to this day. But it’s so much fun to sing along to, so who cares? I squeezed in 2 hours of French classes every week and can now understand simple directions and expressions, something I never thought I could do. I tried roller blading that ended up to be rather disastrous, but hey, at least I tried. I made conscious efforts to spend more quality time with my family, which allowed me to be more present in my nieces and nephew’s lives, even though they live far away. Concluding The Results I’m careful about the advice I take on life. But one of the people I have always admired the most is Oprah Winfrey, a woman I deem to have led a full life, and her advice have always been gold to me. Through one of my readings this year, I came across a book of hers where she said this; when you get the choice to either sit it out or dance, I hope you dance. And boy did I dance this year. I took that advice personally. And in the end, it really did improve the quality of my life. Instead of waiting for vacations and weekends, every single day counts in giving me pleasure, fulfilment and milestones. Instead of thinking of a million reasons as to why I should do something, I opted to think why not? To a certain extent, I had always seem to shroud myself in the expectations of others on how I should live my life. But the thing is, we are all given different circumstances and different opportunities, so make that choice to stop yearning for what others have, and begin living your own truth. And that’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year. Don’t just sit it out. Get up there and dance. That’s when the magic happens. Preparing For The Big One
By Amal Ghazali I just want to first and foremost apologize to my mother for the misleading title – no, I’m not talking about preparing for an upcoming wedding. I’ve always loved hikes. Born and bred in a small, rural area in Kedah where there we more greens than the concrete jungle, the sight of unperturbed nature brings me the comfort of childhood memories. It’s the sunshine, the dirt, and even the armpit sweat that reminds me of the much more carefree years living in a kampong area. As a geologist, which is basically someone who studies the science of the earth, this only adds up to my whole appreciation of the natural outdoors. There is so much history into why these types of rocks are here or how those lands turned out the way they did. So as an adult, it only makes sense why my idea of great travel often requires some form of natural exploration, usually in a form of hikes. It’s the best kind of freedom – you put on sensible shoes, carry only your necessities, and off you go for a nice walk that usually ends up with a spectacular view, on top of the world. Soon, I would be embarking on another big one. It’s one of the Great Himalaya Trails, called the Annapurna Base Camp Trek. I know. I gulp when I think about it too. It was a rather impromptu decision on my part, as a result of my pledge to live as spontaneously as possible this year. It was only after I had officially signed up and paid for the trip that the reality actually sank in. A hike to the Himalayan Base Camp? Really? Assessing My Own Capability Here’s the truth: I am not a natural athlete. Although I enjoy staying active, I don’ have the natural flair of athleticism. When I attend yoga classes I am that average student whose pace is much slower than the rest. I can run, but not with the steady stamina you see on the other runners at the park, who seem to always manage to look poised and stylish while pulling of 10km. Meanwhile you’ll see me pant, grunt, and hold on to my gut whilst dragging my feet. I tried HIIT but after that I was hit with a need to go to the nearest hospital for some drip. So in the wake of me joining the hiking expedition, I knew I had to buckle up and ensure that I was really prepared for what’s going to come. I have this terrible imagery of me being a liability to the whole group, a picture of me being hauled by the donkey (which is supposed to carry hiking equipment during the trek, not humans) due to exhaustion, or even worse, in need of a helicopter evacuation. I did some research and found that the biggest concern for high elevation hiking such as these is the risk of AMS (Acute Mountain Sickness). Although anyone is at risk to get this, research shows that people with lower fitness levels are more prone to the possibility of it. It was becoming clearer that I had to make sure I was physically prepared for this long-haul trek. My two biggest challenges for the preparation are time and momentum. I signed up for the trip in June, which left me about four months to train. Like any other working woman in the city, I work a 8 to 5 job, and by 5 I mean 6.30, which means by the end of the day I am tired from working, and all I really want to do is go home, eat dinner and watch House of Cards on Netflix before I go to bed. But it wouldn’t be sufficient to only train on weekends, so there I was, after long days at work, huffing and puffing my way through kickboxing classes, yoga sessions or treadmill runs. Staying on track with my training was a whole other problem. I needed to go for ‘training hikes’, but who wants to wake up supremely early on weekends and spend them going up the hills and mountains nearby to practice? I needed to eat well to make sure that I was properly feeding my body to pick up more physical demands, but there always seem to be some kind of excuse not to adhere to this – there’s Raya season (and who can say no to the buffet?), there’s Durian season (only once a year, so you have to), there are ‘Mom-is-in-town-so-you-have-to-eat-three-plates-of-rice’ weekends, and the list goes on. You’re Your Own Enabler There’s always an excuse to not stick to a health resolution. Even when there is a gruelling, physically-demanding Himalayan hike just over the horizon, like me. For some reason, there always seem to be this distant voice in the back of our minds that fills us with self-doubt and cynicism. I came across online blogs which claimed that training isn’t really necessary for the week-long hike. “I did minimal preparations and I was fine,” one person had said. I thought about it. Yes, I could indeed choose to not do much about it, and when the time comes I could just ‘wing it’, so to speak. But what happens if I get really sick or tired due to my lack of preparation, and didn’t make it to the top? Of course, even with training one can still get tired or sick, but there is a difference in failing after giving it your best by training and preparing yourself, compared to failing without giving it much of an effort in the first place. I think that whatever happens in the end, I would have a much better level of gratification if I try my hardest, instead of not even trying at all. Here’s hoping! July 24th Article Living In The Now By Amal Ghazali And before I know it, it is now time for another birthday. This time last year I wrote an article called ‘Love In Three Decades’, an essay of my reflections on self-value. And this was fitting at the time, given that I had just completed my era of twenties, a phase that we all know is saturated with so many learning curves about growing up. Personally, it was an important decade for me because it contained so many experiences that allowed me to really figure out who I was and what I truly wanted. For a lot of us, this means stepping outside the boundaries that we were raised in and into a new realm of possibilities, of making our own choices and finally living them. At the turn of my thirtieth year, I began to look closely at my own aspects of life. This was, in part, triggered by a conversation I had with an older colleague at the office. We started talking about the things we would like to do, and these included the places we would like to travel to, new hobbies we would like to attempt and personal ambitions we would like to achieve. At some point during this chat, he then mentioned that there are so many things in his list that he could probably no longer go for because of his current circumstance. He has kids, so traveling is not exactly a financial nonchalance. One of his knees have given out, so he can no longer go for that Everest Base Camp hike he had always wanted to attempt. When the conversation ended it brought me to think about this concept of ‘living in the now’. When I was younger, I lived on a day-to-day basis, spending too much time doing things just because everyone else is doing them, and too little time giving some serious thoughts about what I actually wanted out of my life. I had no aspirations at work, I spent my money on expensive things just because other friends were wearing them too, and I didn’t invest a lot of time in figuring out who I really was or how I would like to live my life, sans cultural expectations. The Self-Experiment Upon realising that I was then, thirty years old, or in other words, halfway through the lifespan of an average person (although the hope is I can still have all my bodily functions at the age of eighty or ninety), it dawned on me that I really didn’t have that much time left. It felt as though I was twenty just moments ago when in fact, it has been a decade. What that means is if I am not careful, another decade would speed by right under my nose with me still hovering around not doing much, feeling like I have all the time in the world. I had to take action. I sat down and went on a serious business of enlisting what I wanted to do and how I could achieve them. They weren’t big things. They weren’t supremely ambitious things, like starting a social media empire or wanting to be a billionaire in 5 years. They were dreams, plans and aspirations of mine, big and small, long and short-term. I’ve always had them in my mind, but like I said, I’ve always stalled from actually executing them because I felt like time is at my expense. And so I spent most of the year trying to realise this list. I began taking ukulele lessons, just because it always seemed so fun to be able to strum a tune with it. I never tried in the past because it didn’t feel like there was any value to that, but what I’ve learned is that not everything has to be monetary-driven. Self-enrichment is about feeling fulfilled, so if it makes you happy, go for it! Even if it means appearing deranged to your neighbours as you roll down the hill while trying to learn how to roller-blade (which was also me, a couple of months ago). I wanted to travel to many places, but something was always stopping me. I would either be too concerned with how expensive that would be, or if it’s relevant to take that much time off work. But talking to a female friend, a mother of two, finally shifted my position. “Appreciate the time you have now to do whatever you really want to do,” she said. “One day, when you have children and commitments, you’ll never get the luxury of time like this again. And you’ll be very sorry you didn’t use it to its fullest.” And so I did. I travelled to 6 different countries in 5 months. At times with friends, at times solo. As for work? Let me put it this way; if there is a will, there is a way. Schedule your year so that you can enjoy your time without neglecting your responsibilities. Leverage where you can. Talk to your boss about how you can best deliver your work while also enjoying your personal time. Do It Now Two months ago, I decided to sign up for a French language course. I’ve always wanted to learn a new language, and if not now, then when? It was daunting at first, the fact that I was throwing this into the mix of being a full-time geologist, writing a newspaper column, finishing the manuscript of my second book, and maintaining a blog. But the way I see it, if you can’t find time, then make time. You’d be surprised how much space you can create just by cutting down on your TV time, Instagram time, and even mindless gossiping time. We always find reasons to stall from doing what we would really like to be doing. It’s a form of self-sabotaging. We convince ourselves that we have plenty of time, when the truth is, we know very well that time is fleeting. I haven’t done everything I have on my list, but so far, as a result as pushing myself to start doing some of them, I daresay that my thirtieth year has been one of the best years of my life yet. Perhaps the conclusion of this self-experiment is if you start living the life you want now, instead of waiting for the undefined ‘later’, you’ll feel a bigger sense of fulfilment and contentment over your current life. July 10th Article The Group Cleanse
By Amal Ghazali I really enjoy doing cleanses and detoxes. Alright, let me rephrase that. I don’t necessarily enjoy the elaborate dietary restrictions and the emotional chaos sugar withdrawal causes, but I certainly like the feeling after. It’s the sense of accomplishment from soldiering through a nutritional commitment of no white sugar, no red meat or no dairy (I love my cheese, so this is particularly difficult). It’s the elimination of guilt you’ve gained after eating so much high-cholesterol Raya food over the holidays that could make a cardiologist cry. And most of all, it’s the amazing feeling you get when you manage to see the physical results, like weight loss or clearer skin. This year is my second year of doing a post-Raya cleanse. Last year was brutal. The sugar withdrawal made me cranky, so much so that I even felt like yelling at my potted plants for no reason. I distinctively remember being in a crowd of colleagues during a ‘Raya’ potluck (because hey, we celebrate it for a month, right?), and while everyone was indulging in all sorts of delicacies, I had to stick to my plate of raw vegetables and hummus dip. It was easily one of the longest weeks of 2017. So this year, I was better prepared. I scheduled my detox in the window where there was absolutely no Raya party invitations, and to keep me motivated, I decided to invite two other colleagues, Shahul and Wardah, to join me in the challenge. Neither of them have tried it before, so I was excited to see how it would work out for them. The Challenge Begins Before we began, I had to first and foremost lay out the rules for them. “No red meat, because we want to be as gentle as possible to our digestive systems,” I said. Plus we’ve eaten enough red meat during Raya to last us for a whole month. This seemed to settle well with the both of them. “And no processed meat of any form.” They were okay with this too. “No white carbohydrates.” I saw some worried looks. “No caffeine either,” I said, and they pondered on this for a while. “How about coffee from the vending machine?” Wardah asked. I thought this was a strange question given that I’ve just said that we were not to have any caffeine in any form whatsoever. “And no processed, white sugar,” I concluded. “Alright how about Llao Llao frozen yoghurt dessert? I mean, it’s yoghurt, so it’s practically good for you, right?” Shahul asked. I almost gave up. We all agreed to begin the ‘cleanse’ on the next day. At lunch time, I saw Shahul emerging at the office with some McDonald treats. I asked him why he was indulging in a lot fast food junk today. “Oh, because we’re starting the detox tomorrow. So I’m making the most out of today by eating all these stuff,” he answered. Surprisingly, the next few days went by like a breeze. Unlike last year when I was eating my raw vegetables on my own at the sad little corner of the office, this time around I looked forward to my lunch breaks. As part of the commitment, we agreed to take turns to make lunches for the group. This way, mealtimes became exciting instead of dreadful, because we were excited to see what each of us can come up with given the list of do’s and don’ts. Eating together and asking each other what we had throughout the day also kept us motivated and reduces the dreadful feeling of being the only person eating zero-carb meals. I suppose in this case, misery really does love company. The only relapse we had was an occasion where Shahul was caught eating spoonful after spoonful of high-sugar peanut butter (“Why not? I thought you said nuts are really good for us,” he said). Tips To Have A Successful Cleanse Earlier in the year, there was an uprising of articles claiming cleanses and detoxes as a complete hoax. Did I agree? Well, it depends on how you approach it, really. Would you contest that eating cleaner diets with less processed food and more plants and greens have no effect on our health whatsoever? Of course not. There are legit research out there that shows eating more vegetables and less processed meat will directly impact our overall health. What becomes a hoax, however, is if you only eat well during your short detox program but you eat horribly on the rest of the days in the year. It’s all about check and balance, of course. Doing a cleanse is just an opportunity to be extra kind to your body and feed it with more goodness, but for the rest of the time, you’re still responsible for looking after what you consume and having a fairly balanced diet. And if you’re thinking of trying it out sometime, might I suggest getting a few other family members or friends to join you? I found that it gave me an extra boost to keep going, as doing it alone can sometimes present a challenge in terms of maintaining the motivation. Honesty, even whining together about wanting an ice cream is better than feeling miserable on your own. Most of all, keep your eye on the prize. What are your objectives of doing one in the first place? If you’re not allergic to gluten, then focus less on having a gluten-free program and pay more attention to having more greens in your diet. If you’re doing a carb-free program, don’t starve yourself. Instead, think of ways on how you can fill yourself up with other alternatives. Doing a detox does not mean you have to be hungry. As expected, by the end of it we felt great physically and had more energy. I highly recommend it, and if you’re about to embark on one, good luck! A State Of Affair
By Amal Ghazali Have you seen the film Closer? It’s a film starring Natalie Portman and Julia Roberts, which is basically good enough reason to watch something. I was doing some research for a book and came across this 2014 production. In short, it’s a film about four people having affairs, and how it impacted their lives and the lives of their spouses. I’m not even sure if I would recommend seeing this movie. It was beautifully crafted, but painful to watch. After I was done I had to eat 2 bowls of ice cream just to pick myself up again. A movie about infidelity wouldn’t have really fazed me a few years ago, but these days the subject seem to be hovering closer within my radar. Just recently there was a friend who was cheated on by his spouse. It ended their marriage and caused a lot of pain for them and their respective families. And if you’re over the age of 25, I am sure you would’ve at least heard about someone you know in real life who are involved with or have been affected by infidelity. On one of those days when I found myself engrossed in a conversation with my usual group of girlfriends about cheating husbands, unfaithful wives and all the phone apps that you can download to discreetly monitor where and what your spouse is doing (yes, these apps exist! I was as surprised as you are), I found all these so overwhelming that I watched all 3 Bridget Jones movies just to feel hopeful again. For someone who is yet to step into the world of lifetime partners and marital commitments, it scared the heck out of me. Anyone with half a brain knows that cheating is awful and hurts the ones we love, and yet despite our mostly practical grasp of that understanding, some of us are still unfaithful. The question is, why do we do it? Cheating, Explained There are a lot of reasons as to why. If you read enough books, listen to enough stories, and watch enough movies, you’ll find that the list is endless. We fell out of love with time, and I fell in love with someone else. He stopped paying attention to me. She let herself go. Once, an acquaintance told me that upon confronting her husband about an affair, he admitted that he was doing it out of boredom. Like I said, the list of reasons to justify unfaithfulness is varied and colourful. But to begin with, the definition of cheating itself is subjective. Is exchanging prolonged texts considered cheating? Is emotional dependency on someone else that’s not your spouse considered infidelity? Must it only be physical? To add to the complexity, our lifestyles have changed. Affairs can now be virtual, not only physical. There are about a million different channels on the internet where a person could discreetly carry out shenanigans without suspicion. Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. WeChat. Couchsurfing. Line. The choices are endless. Eventually, we land on the conversation as to why. Why do people cheat? Like other human behaviours, if you dig deep enough you’ll find that there is always a simplified reason as to why people behave the way they do, beyond the reasons they would actually tell you. In a research done by Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist specialising in relationships, she found that the reason why someone is unfaithful would almost always boil down to the need to re-invent themselves. As life with a stable spouse expands into the roles of partners and parents, a lot of people begin to feel that their true ‘selves’ are eclipsed by these responsibilities. With time, stable relationships can also fall into a plateau where things are no longer as exciting as they used to be in the beginning of courtship. Having affairs, it seems, is a way for some people to explore these facets of themselves they feel like they have lost. Desire also comes into the picture upon analysing these situations. They are not necessarily the conventional aspects of desire we seem to easily associate with infidelity. Rather, it is more to do with self-entitlement. There is a desire to feel adored the way we used to be adored in the early stages of relationships. There is a desire to gain affection and awe elsewhere when we feel as though we are not getting what we deserve in our current relationships. We live in an age where self-fulfilment is deemed priority, and unfortunately some of us will abuse this philosophy through justifying affairs as a way to find these ‘fulfilments’. Ownership Of Actions It’s interesting to see that root cause of disloyalty is, for the most part, our own internal turmoil. It’s even more interesting to observe that pretty much all destructive behaviours are eventually a resultant of our inability to address our personal struggles in a healthy way, and less about how others treat us. It’s always easy to justify infidelity by finding the blame on how the other one treats us. From an outsider’s point of view, I’ve heard this story plot one too many times. But I’ve always wondered if these situations could have been salvaged should we have taken better ownership of our own reactions. No relationship is perfect, and there will always be a time when we are not necessarily treated the way we expect to be treated by our significant other. There will always be something else that’s more seductive somewhere. There will always be times when the grass seem greener on the other side. But in the end, the determinant of these situations will always be our own selves and our own reactions. And to quote a line from the movie Closer, “there’s a moment. There’s always a moment – I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it”. I happen to think that there is so much truth to this, as the choice for anything in this life is always essentially, our own. Here are the articles I wrote for New Straits Times for the month of February, 2018! In conjunction with Valentine’s Day (which I don’t celebrate, but hey, I like that desserts are cheaper this time of year), I wrote about the good men in our lives – Dads, brothers, uncles, spouses, friends, and how much having these amazing guys in our lives are blessings that we sometimes take for granted. You can read the whole article in the link below www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/heal/2018/02/335022/amal-muses-love-letter-righteous-men The second article is all about fooddddddd. Or more specifically, food I devoured in Italy to the point that I thought I was going to turn into a blob of cheese (after eating a lot of those).
You can read it at this link below! https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/heal/2018/02/339811/amal-muses-napoli-delights Meat Free Monday
By Amal Ghazali If you don’t live in a cave, you’ll notice that the past two or three years have seen a sudden boost in the health scene. Everyone and anyone is talking about healthier eating options and lifestyle. The other day I was chatting to an office colleague, a thirty-something female who had been eating consistent amount of cheeseburgers and fries for the past X years (with a waistline to match), and she started talking about chia seeds and ‘superfoods’. This was when I realised that the movement of healthy eating has literally spread itself everywhere. Perhaps it’s just a trend, but perhaps it’s also the awareness that lifestyle-induced diseases are really on the rise. About two years ago my Father, a self-proclaimed house gardener who managed his own fruit orchard, was diagnosed with hypertension and three blocked arteries. Despite his busy and active lifestyle, it turned out that all the unhealthy meals had begun to take their tolls. Simultaneously, all around me it was evident that office-based work and lack of conscious eating were affecting everyone. Some of my friends, who used to be lean and sinewy, are now overweight and lethargic, and I too was gradually shifting towards that direction. Realising this, two years ago I decided to commit to a self-promise that I would become a full vegetarian every Monday, a full day dedicated to eating natural, clean food, for the rest of my life. I signed the imaginary oath and here I am, two years later, still fulfilling that promise at least once a day every week, all year round. “Why on earth would you want to be a goat one day a week?” Asked a perplexed friend. Plant-Based Food And Their Benefits Ironically, the idea of having meat-free Mondays really came to me one day when I was watching TV while eating a pepperoni pizza. Jamie Oliver was enthusiastically explaining how we need to eat five portions of vegetables a day as a dietary need. Over my half-chewed pizza, I realised that I had only eaten a few slices of cucumber (from a plate of nasi lemak) for the past three days of my required vegetable supplement. I began to think about the reasons of why I had subconsciously failed to consume the ideal dietary portion of meals. One, I did not consciously make an effort to prioritise vegetables. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to, without really considering nutrition in the whole equation. Two, vegetables are boring. An image of a vegetable dish will either be a bland salad or even worse, overpriced soups that will make you hungry again in exactly two hours. However, committing myself to a full day of vegetarianism seems to fix a lot of these issues. For one, I am coerced to plan my meals for that whole day. Planning results in conscious eating, which allows me to really think about what I consume. For instance, there really isn’t a point of a meat-free Monday if you end up eating a pile of French fries. Consciously devoting a whole day to plant-based food also makes the whole thing more exciting – I find myself going through online recipes of a variety of healthy vegetarian options (that’s not salad, thank you very much), and making tasty packed lunches which, let’s be honest, makes it easier on the wallet. Much to my perplexed friend’s amazement, I did not at all have to be a goat one day a week, munching on nothing but raw leaves and green juices all day long. Tips To Kickstart Your Meat-Free Day It has been two years and I have absolutely no regrets about having Meat-Free Mondays. It’s hard to begin, but once you have the momentum you’ll find that it’s rather effortless to maintain. To start, entice yourself by doing a bit of research. You’ll find so many resources that explain the benefits of going vegetarian, even on how it affects the environment! Delve into so many appetizing recipes online that prove vegetables don’t have to be boring. I’m talking beautiful vegetable curries, tarts, roasts, stir-fries, and yes, even healthy pizzas. They will keep you from missing meat, and more importantly make the whole vegetarian premise more exciting. I started off with recipes from deliciouslyella.com, but there are hundreds more of these online. Secondly, go easy. If there’s an office potluck this Monday, you can always be flexible. Replace the meat-free day on other days, as long as you commit yourself to actually substitute the day. Otherwise, it will be like that time you tell yourself you’ll clean your closet – you postpone it again and again, and eventually it never happens. Lastly, remind yourself constantly why you’re doing it. I want to travel and do all sorts of fun physical activities even when I am fifty, and this keeps me motivated to look after myself better. Some people are more prone to hereditary illnesses (as do I), and this should drive us to keep tabs on our lifestyles as well. Whatever it is, there is something for everyone when we make conscious efforts in eating right, especially in tackling vegetable consumptions which seems to be a challenge to a lot of people. Hopefully through initiatives such as meat-free Mondays, we can all encourage ourselves to be healthier, and hopefully still be able to try skateboarding when we’re fifty. |
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